if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
