I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
