If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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