love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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