i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Holy shit dude........stairs
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
