so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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