Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
