I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
