I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
