"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Me. At least after what I've been through.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
