eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
