Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
