Whod you bang
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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