please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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