is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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