wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
