I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The power of my boobs compel you
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
