Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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