I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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