You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
