my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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