where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
