No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i think im in europe. pls send help
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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