Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My friends, they love my intelligence
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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