you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
