Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
