I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he thought i was a dude.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
