I accidentally had phone sex last night
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
