brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
