omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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