1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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