I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
