This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just google imaged poop.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
