took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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