Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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