Where did you get a picture of my penis
People with herpes should wear stickers.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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