Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Two words: nipple clamps
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