Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
