I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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