Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I wish life had little blips of pornography
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
