i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
