Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
