we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
