im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
