About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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