Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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