i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i believe in u and ur pee
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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