I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
