Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Randomize
