Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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